The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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