She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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