so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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