I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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