My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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