Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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