i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
