i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
