They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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