It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
