just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
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