I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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