Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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