? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I had to cum in my sink.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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