Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
