We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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