I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
