hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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