I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
