I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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