We're facebook friends in real life
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
