we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
