Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
