It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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