finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
