I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
