I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
