some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
