And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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