this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
and you fell through a lawn chair
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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