Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
