Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
