I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
