your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
