drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
