Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
