Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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