You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
