she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
