Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize