So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
