smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
