I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
