Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
