ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
