Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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