Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize