remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
