Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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