we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
