What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
