just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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