Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
