Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
