Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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