it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
