i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She made me pour olive oil on her.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
