she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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