you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
