how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you traded sex for a burrito?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize