yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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