Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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