do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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