Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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