Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
