im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
