This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
