I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
